I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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