he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
