Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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