the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
