That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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