do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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