I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
