JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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