I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
God, I missed his penis.
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