Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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