i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
