i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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