Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
