need another drink. this is the easiest way
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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