Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
