Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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