Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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