I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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