theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
