So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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