smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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