I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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