erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize