We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
