Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
