So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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