Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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