is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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