Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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