Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
