I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
