It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
