bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
