I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
