First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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