my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
