What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
