I wanna passion pit in your ass
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
