Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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