I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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