Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He better not be in your backpack
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
