OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
