Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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