I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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