My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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