why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
