This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
