We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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