I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
