something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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