i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You're a waste of cheezeits
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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