wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
