im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
