BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
