Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
