If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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