Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
