paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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